Shag buddy. Yay or nay?


It’s been called shag buddies, friends with benefits, and all sorts of names, but sleeping with someone you are not in a relationship with is nothing new.

By Zukiswa Dlamini

Gauteng based psychologist, Thabisile Mthethwa, says there’s nothing wrong with having a “friend with benefits”, as long as it’s between two consenting adults. It’s also important to make sure that your body and mind are protected.

1. Protect yourself. Random sex liasons increase the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. Make sure you protect yourself because the last thing you want is a pregnancy from a man you didn’t event want to have a relationship outside the bedroom with.

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2. Be careful. Some risks are also not physical; just because you are having sex with someone doesn’t always mean they will look out for you. So, be careful with things like sending nude pictures and making sex videos with someone who is a bed buddy.

3. Rules of engagement. While some people say bed buddies should have rules including “no kissing” or “no speaking about personal lives”, it can be hard to put these rules in place because human beings are complex and so is sex.  A lot of sharing goes on in sexual relationships, you might think you aren’t being affected in some way, chances are that you are.

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4. Developing feelings. It’s not rare for people to develop feelings for each other after embarking on a sexual relationship. If you are the only one falling in love or like, then stop having a sexual relationship with that person immediately. It will only hurt you to continue.

5. Falling in love. In some instances, those who start off as bed buddies often end the relationship because one person in the couple starts to want more emotional stability. But, if both of you start falling in love, it could be the beginning of a beautiful love affair.