Choosing celibacy


Celibacy is often used to encourage young people to stay chaste to protect them from some of the consequences of early sexual relationships. But what about in adulthood when you are in a relationship?

Relationship counsellor Nomsa Khumalo weighs in no the matter.

By Zukiswa Dlamini

1. It’s your choice. Many people choose celibacy for religious beliefs while others choose it for personal reasons. Some people want to ensure that they are not entering a relationship that is solely based on sex.

2. Lust or Love? Sometimes sex can cloud things in a relationship, especially in the early stages when it can be hard to tell the difference between lust and love.

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3. The positive. Some people feel celibacy protects them from unwanted pregnancies and STDs. It can also be seen as being in line with biblical teachings. Some people start the journey to prove to themselves that they aren’t ruled by their carnal desire.

3. The right man. It’s not always easy to find a man who is keen to be in a celibate relationship until marriage, but the right man will respect your decisions.

4. Fear. Some people have had sexual trauma and choose celibacy to close themselves off to intimacy. This robs them of a part of the human experience and does nothing heal the wounds of whatever the trauma was.

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5. The challenge. There are times when celibacy becomes an issue, especially for those in a relationship that did not start off as celibate. It’s not unusual for people to want to be celibate in the course of their lifetime, but it’s important to make the decision with the input of you your partner. Making such a decision without any communication with your partner is likely to cause problems.