In most of my writings, I always try to be positive and upbeat. My goal is always to help you see that you are capable of being and doing more than you have ever thought. I always attempt to help you see possibilities in places that others might overlook and help you overcome limitations and obstacles on your way to your dreams. However this month, I want to tell you something that may not sound so positive, at least at first, and that is: you have limitations. Everybody is created by God and gifted in one way or another. Some have more areas of abilities than others but we are all gifted in some way. Every single one of us is capable of doing amazing things with our lives in different areas. Some are gifted in the area of athletics and sports. Others are gifted comedians – it comes naturally to them.
Others are gifted with the ability to sell things. These kinds of people can sell snow to Eskimos. Some are gifted with the ability to listen sincerely and feel the pain of other people. I believe that the happiest people on Earth are those who find their areas of gifting and make the most of it. However, no matter how gifted you are, you still have limitations. You cannot be everything to everyone. You will not be liked and appreciated by everyone. Your giftedness will not be celebrated by everyone and you will never be able to help everyone. You will not be able to touch everyone. After it is all said and done; you will have to do your best and leave the rest. Most human beings are not successful and happy because they do far less than their abilities. They do too little and don’t try hard enough, so they go through life as underachievers and miserable failures. On the other hand, many others fail in life because they do not understand that they cannot do all and be all. They try too hard to succeed at too many things at the same time. You might be fortunate to be the only one with a decent job in your entire family and so feel obligated to help everybody out all the time. Well, you must help your family and make sacrifices, but you must not do it to your detriment or that of your children. You will never be able to help everyone.
At some point you will have to say no. You must realise that you have limited resources, since you are not God. It may hurt someone’s feelings when you say no. It may even hurt you to say no, yet you must! As a pastor, I am responsible for looking after my parishioners’ spiritual and all round well-being. I am supposed to be there when they marry or go through a divorce; they expect me to be there when they go through bereavement or other traumatic experiences. They expect me to be there during times of hardship, unemployment and so on. And as a good pastor I always want to be there for my people, but there are times when it has not been humanly possible for me to be there for them the way they want me to be. I just cannot help it because the truth is that I am as human as anyone else. I try to remember the words of a wise man who once said: “I don’t know the secret of success but I do know the secret of failure and that is trying to please everyone all of the time”.
Many people are unreasonable in their expectations of other people. What I have found is that the people who expect the most, and even demand it, are the least willing to give anything in return. No person will be able to meet all of your needs and be there for you 100% of the time. They also have a life of their own. When you don’t realise and define your limitations, you take on projects that are not in line with your goals and dreams in life. You actually lose focus. And once you have no focus or you have a divided focus you begin to work against yourself, frustrating your own self in the process. Every relationship must have limitations and boundaries. Protect your focus by establishing what your limitations are, and then you will be able to give your best efforts to the most important things and people in your life. [e] ■ Pastor George |
