 As we celebrate fathers this month I remember my father. He was a great father and taught me important lessons, like respecting women. Not once in their 40 years of marriage did I ever see him argue with my mother. He taught me the value of hard work and the discipline of getting up early. He taught me the value of honesty and contentment. My father inspired me to be the best husband I could be, and he essentially set me up for success.
My father was a good man. I empathise with many who are not fortunate enough to have felt the influence and mentorship of a good man, and I feel for the many women who have never experienced the joy of being with a real man. My aim is to challenge all the men who read this article to become all that they can be. Our nation needs real men; we need them in the political arena and in business. We need real men to fill our pulpits across the land. Many families have men who are either physically absent or emotionally unavailable. The responsibility of leadership falls squarely on the shoulders of men. And leadership determines everything. Every home needs a good man – whether in the form of a resident and available father or just a father figure. Don’t get me wrong – many women have proven themselves to be worth seven men, especially since so many of them head up one-parent families. We must salute the incredible courage, hard work and sheer determination of these heroines. Nevertheless, the male species has a very important role to play in building families and the nation.
Which brings me to the question that begs an answer: What is a real man? Let me start by saying that it takes more than the ability to father a child or get a woman pregnant to qualify as a real man. Secondly, it takes a lot more than a hairy chest and thick beard or moustache to be a real man; more than thick biceps and triceps. Most of the male adults walking our streets and filling leadership positions in our society can hardly be called real men. They are just overgrown little boys who hide their fears and inadequacies behind their age, positions, possessions and personal toys like cars, houses and gadgets. In every one of us there is a little boy and a real man, but we decide which one of these should be allowed to stand up. In trying to define real manhood, I would like to start by saying that a real man is not a slave to his appetites and desires. A real man must acquaint himself with sacrifice. He cannot pride himself on how many women he can take or has taken to his bed. A real man does not spend most of his earnings on alcohol or drugs and then blame others for his failure to be a responsible father or loving husband.
A real man is a provider and protector. He will not fold his hands and let his wife and kids go without. He won’t sit in front of the TV, wring his hands and do nothing. A real man will not wait at home for his wife to bring home her pay. A real man will not expect a woman to share the bill on a date. A real man will set his children up to do far better than he has done. He will deny himself to create a better life for his children and even their grandchildren. A real man will think about tomorrow and not consume all his resources today. A real man will be a guide, teacher and mentor to his own family. Many men fail at this one. They send their children to often very expensive private schools, leaving the disciplining of their children to the school authorities. A real man must teach his family, through words and example, the value of hard work, financial independence and the dream of a better tomorrow. He must teach them about the pitfalls of illicit sex and chemical abuse and the importance of a godly life. Every man should be the pastor and teacher in his own household. I ask you today to allow the real man within you to stand up. [e] ■ Pastor George
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