Connie Ferguson opens up about her daring decision to part with her womb and with it her chance of having more children
There ’s so much to talk about with Connie Ferguson, yet there’s so little time – an hour to be exact. Connie is her warm self when she walks into the Generations’ office even though she’s about to spill intimate details of her life. She starts in the beginning of her journey, her miscarriage that happened almost four years ago. The star – who plays the childless businesswoman Karabo Moroko on Generations – says she’d been walking around with a dead fetus in her womb for days, maybe even weeks before her doctor confirmed she’d lost the baby.
At three months into the pregnancy, Connie and her husband Shona had fallen deeply in love with someone they hadn’t named. That life-changing experience made Connie, who comes from a family of six siblings from Botswana, long for a third baby. Three years after her miscarriage and now in her late 30s Connie made a doctor’s appointment that dashed her dreams of growing her family. “It was during one of my check-ups last year that the doctor discovered I had fibroid growths in my womb,” she reveals. The diagnosis explained why Generations’ leading lady had been in unbearable pain, why she’d felt bloated and struggled to stand for long periods of time.
 She faced limited choices to solve her medical problem: she could have the fibroids surgically removed, but because of her age and condition the doctor warned her chances of having a miscarriage again were high. The other option was a hysterectomy – an operation where she’d have her womb removed. Connie and Shona’s decision wasn’t easy, but after thinking of the blessings of having two beautiful daughters aged 17 and 7, TV careers spanning years, a home and each other, they let go of the chance of ever having another child. Last year September Connie was wheeled into theatre for the operation. In a short space of time her womb was removed and with that came the worry she was half the woman she used to be.
Her anxiety that her husband would look at her differently because she could no longer give him children, made her question herself as a woman. But kind words from the man she has loved for eight years put an end to a spell of misery and self doubt. “Shona told me it’s my soul and not my womb that makes me a great woman. He reminded me that with two beautiful daughters, my womb had served its biological purpose. I could see he didn’t love me less.” Connie’s many achievements in life range from being one of the highest paid and highly respected actresses, to having her own eyewear and perfume range, and of course a cosmetics endorsement deal.
However, having a happy family has always been her true measure of success. “When God sent that man into my life he had already prepared him for all my issues,” she says shaking her head and letting out hearty laughter. “If it wasn’t for him holding my hand, I might have ended up in an asylum because of what I’ve been through.” Although the surgery was quick and successful, Connie needed much rest to get herself together. In the soap world she left for America, giving her a chance to recuperate at home with her family in the real world.
Mrs Ferguson has adjusted to the “new” woman she’s become, but we still wonder if she isn’t afraid that something could happen to her children, leaving her with nothing. She stops to think for a while and replies: “The thought did cross my mind but the answer is simple – it’s all in God’s hands. All I can do is think positively about my life. I don’t think about life without Shona or without my kids. What’s meant to be will be.” Come what may in the future, Connie wants to be present, enjoy her family and more importantly Mother’s Day. Her daughter Lesedi (from a previous marriage) and her youngest Alicia are known for instructing mommy not to lift a finger on the special day. In return Connie wants nothing more than to be there for them. “Lesedi is at that very sensitive teenage stage while Alicia is going through the curious ‘why?’ phase.” It’s at that point she realises that having a third child might not have been the best thing for her family. “Trying to have another baby would have meant I’d be in and out of hospital. I would have had less time and energy to focus on my children and be aware of the changes they’re going through. It would have been a selfish move,” Connie confides.
Our time is up, and in that short time Connie’s managed to share a personal part of her life – something she’s done in the almost 20 years she’s been in the entertainment industry. “I can’t say I understand why I had to go through what I’ve been through. I’ve learnt that sometimes I don’t have to understand, I must just accept. I can’t change the past but I can honestly say I’m happy and healthy now.” And you know what, we believe her. [e]
Story: Ntokozo Maseko
Pictures: Lwazi Hlophe
Styling: Thato-ya-Ona Lerefolo
Hair & make-up: Iko Mash Assistant: Keletso Modisakeng
CLOTHING: Page 26: Gold Dress: Spero Villioti; shoes: Europa Art Shoes; earrings: Ruby In The Dust. Page 29: Floral Dress: Hip Hop; pink stilettos: Europa Art Shoes; earrings: Ruby In The Dust.
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